Hi. Life’s been sucking out my energy lately, mostly because school has started. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love it, but procrastination has set in. When that sets in, exercise gets thrown out the window like some potted plant, crashing below. It’s not pretty and I’m not faring well with my plans. Or my “Lose-30-lbs-by-Christmas” Plan either. Now, it’s unrealistic and outrageous. It was illogical in the first place. I’m a horrid procrastinator, so in order to get things done, I need results quickly. If I wait four months to lose 30 lbs, I’m not going to start working on it until it’s freezing outside, and then, I’ll use it as an excuse. So it’ll never happen.
Last week at Weight Watchers when my mom and I weighed in, I’d lost more than I thought was possible. (It’s not much) And yes, I felt boosted. But . . . it didn’t last. I’ve picked up biking, but I don’t think that’ll make much of a difference. I know losing weight is a lengthy project and will not happen overnight as much as I’d like it to, so my Ultimate Goal is to be 30 lbs less than I am now for the start of sophomore year. Who am I kidding? There’s no way I’d lose it by Christmas. Maybe I’ll lose 10 lbs by then. If. If. If I exercise.
Biking is real nice, but it’s getting chillier out now. Usually I’m fine with the cold, but now is that time of cold when I expect it to be warm but it’s not, so I’m freezing. Brrrrr. Running, well, for me . . . . I’ll figure that one out. On another note! My dad and his best friend ran a 13.1 race and had a time of 2:04:58–a new PR for my dad! And he’s totally awesome because he’s been having hip problems lately, despite his healthy wellbeing. And he kept up a steady pace! Ah, I’m so proud of him. 🙂
I’m praying nightly, though, with my procrastination, it’s always uber late when I’m finally ready to go to bed, so sometimes I’ll just say the Lord’s Prayer like little kids do (Er, that’s what I did when I was like, five). Other times I drone on and on and on about many things. I thank Him for all the blessings he’d given me (extensive list) and then I ask Him to watch over whoever is specifically on my heart that night. Last night it was my dad and his friend, my friend who is dealing with depression, my other friend who is having major boy-related issues, and my future husband.
I can’t deny the little voice in the back of my mind hissing, IF He even has one planned. What if you don’t get married? IF you have one, I SUPPOSE it wouldn’t be too much of a burden for Him. But who says you’re to be married anyways?? I’m not perfect and I can have a terrible attitude and temper, but I know that if I DO have a husband in store, I’ll love him fiercely. I hate it when my parents fight (rare), so I plan to not fight with my future husband as much as I can. In fact, I’m sure I already love him. I’ve even written a poem about him.
I laugh at myself every time I think about him! I have no idea what he looks like–if he has a piercing (I don’t favor those, but if he has one, since we’re perfect for each other, it won’t matter as much), if his eyes are brown (I love brown eyes on guys), what his smile looks like–I have no clue what his laugh sounds like, or how tall he is. I don’t know what he likes to do with his time or what his aspirations are. Goodness, I don’t even know if he knows Jesus! I hope he does, because no one’s love is greater. I don’t know if he loves children like me, if he’s allergic to dogs (that’d be horrible–I love dogs), if he likes to exercise, if he plays a sport or an instrument, or if he likes art (I love art). The only thing I can be sure of as of my fourteen years of age is that I’ll love him forever and ever. Scuffles will happen, it’s inevitable, but we’ll plough through.
On a completely different note, I’ll share my news gleefully. So I’m a novelist, except all the books I’ve started to write have always dwindled out. Well NOW I am GOING to finish a book, no matter WHAT it takes. So happens, I love my new idea. I won’t share it b/c I want to see it on a bookshelf someday. I will say that it’s about friendships, death, comfort, and love. It’s my first realistic fiction book and I love the two/three main charatcers–Caylor, Liam, and Endra (♀, ♂, ♀). As of now, I am plotting a majorly extensive plot graph and right now, I’m about three/four months into the story. I am very impressed with myself, not be stouthearted. But I hope this works because nothing else ever has. And if does . . . well let’s say I’ll be busybusybusy for a long while. Who knows? Maybe I’ll win an award (probably not).
I’m off to construct Caylor’s junior year at Washwallow Performing Arts High School! Peace!
Every writer I know has trouble writing. –Joseph Heller
-SKatInk) 😀
(ps, I’m taking French, hence the “Bonjour”. In class, my name is Laïla. I love it.)
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