My God is Miraculous

     Let me tell you a story. When I was born, I wasn’t perfectly whole. In my aorta (a vein that connects to your heart), there was a coarctation, a constriction. I had aortic stenosis. At one of my check-ups as an infant, the doctor said they could cut me open and cut out the pinch, or my parents could wait three years and see how I was doing then. They voted to wait and pray, pray, pray. When I was five I had another check-up. Using an ultrasound, my doctor said I was fine, perfectly whole, fit as a fiddle.

     Talk about a miracle!!

     So, for the past decade of my life, I’ve been convinced I was healthy and God had healed me. We were supposed to have another check-up when I was ten. And we did have that checkup–four years late and two weeks ago. Eheh. The ultrasound we had then revealed that I not only had a bicuspid aortic valve, but I STILL had the aortic stensosis.

     Wait, rewind. What??

     That meant that the miracle we’d been convinced of hadn’t existed. No, that specific miracle wasn’t exactly there. But there was another one. Throughout the fourteen years of my life, nothing had showed I had the stenosis. I’m 5’6″, proportionally built, (yes, a little overweight, I’m working on it) and I’ve had no bodily problems. Nothing had depicted I was ill or that anything was wrong. We all believed I was fine. In everyone’s sight, I was.

     So when the results came in that I needed an MRI, the first thing I did was go home and pray. “I trust you, God. Everything You’re doing is in Your plan for my life. I trust You wherever this leads.” I did trust Him, and I still do. I will, like, forever. Suddenly I began feeling my heart and my pulsing blood when I ran. I felt cramps in my legs. Of course, I was just psyching myself out. My mom even told me so.

     Today I went in for the MRI (magnetic resonance imaging). Gown, hospital pants, no metal–the whole deal. The worst part, honestly, was the IV. I found out that my vein in my right elbow is “fairly deep” (said the nurse) and eheh, that makes me nervous, so I don’t think I’ll be donating blood very often. I did not get my mom’s veins at all (they pop out glaringly).

     So I laid down on a table and they (the doctors–one was named Sadhara–I think that’s pretty) started hooking up all these things to me. A band around my stomach to monitor my breathing, patches around my heart to well, get the imaging, since that’s what I was there for. They wrapped a piece of cloth around me, put this plate/skeleton thing on my chest and covered me with a blanket. THEN they put headphones on me so a) they could talk to me about breathing instructions and b) so I could hear my movie. They gave me movie goggles (which I knew ahead of time about, so I brought A Cinderella Story) and then, FINALLY, I was ready.

     The tube was just big enough for the table I was on and the miscellaneous objects connected to me. It was like, I don’t know…similar to putting a boat through a bottle.

     The MRI scan started and so did the movie. It was fairly pleasant (when I say “fairly”, I mean ignoring BEEP BEEP CRRROONKKKK WHIRRRRRRR noises while listening to Hilary Duff and Chad Michael Murray (cutest couple ever)) and went by quickly. Ten minutes prior to the ending, they injected constrast stuff into my bloodstream and it was cold when it flowed into my veins. But I got over it and it was over with soon enough.

     So now I’m drinking extra water because the doctor told me that would help flush out the contrast stuff. Well, technically, I’m drinking lemonade Mio, but it’s not a big difference.

     About two hours ago, the doctor called my dad and gave him the results. And guess what? I don’t need surgery! I don’t need to do anything special, except get a check-up next year. She’s even going to send us a bill of clean health! God truly is miraculous! He knew exactly what He was doing, and I’m glad I trusted Him. There was nothing to worry about. He’s always watching over me (even though, you know, my brother had like, two hundred people praying for me–I’m exceedingly grateful for that). I will forever be an example of His mercy, grace, and the power of prayer. Always believe, people! Always have faith! God is GREAT and glorious!

     Psalm 28:7-8 –“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song.  The LORD is the strength of his people, a fortress of salvation for his anointed one.”

     Peace out!

     -SKatInk- ❤

Last Day of Freedom!!

     Who out there has started school already? Well, I start tomorrow and I can’t decide if I’m excited or nervous or completely psyched or just anxious. It’s a mixture of everything, but I know where my classes are, so at least I feel somewhat prepared. My English project is coming along (there’s still a lot to do) but thankfully, yesterday at open house, my HE teacher said that because we have a freshman assembly during third period, we won’t be able to do much–!!!!–soooo technically it’s not due until Thursday. Whew. But I’m almost done drawing the people (I had to twelve; I have to color one more and finish drawing/coloring the other), and the outline of the platform is done. I can do this. I got this.

     I’ve been true to my word. Ever since I made that promise to pray to God every night, I’ve only missed it twice (and that was when we were dropping my brother off at college), but other than that, I’ve been making sure I do it. I mean, I stay up until the wee hours of the night when I grow exceedingly tired, but I remind myself to pray–What if tonight’s the night Ashton really needs sleep? What if tonight your future husband gets in a car wreck? Yeah, if I have to, I guilt myself into praying. But that’s not often. I have so much to be thankful for and I really want Him to know that.

     I did run twice this past week, but, admittedly, I did eat a bag of skittles the night before the weigh-in. Ehehe. Not such a good idea. I won”t be doing that again. But I have started eating steel-cut oats for breakfast. They’re really tasty with craisins, sliced almonds, brown sugar, and a teensy splosh of vanilla almond milk. This morning I accidentally cooked them wrong so I ended up having like, 1/2 cup of breakfast. Genius me, I added banana slices to it! That was pretty yummy.

     I need to drink more fluids, so my mom and I discovered this really handy-dandy flavoring. It’s Mio, and I like the lemonade taste the most. Just a squirt (you have like, 18 servings in each Mio bottle) and you hardly have to stir it. It’s really good, and my mom says it’s even better because it contains sucralose rather than aspartame, which is bad for you. I go with it. I also drink a full bottle of water before I go to bed every night, just for water. One tiny side effect is that in the morning the bathroom cannot wait.

    So far, running is working. I like it a lot. But because school is starting, I’m going to have to start running in the evening. My dad is reading this HUGE book all about running and he said that the book said that for weight loss running, running on empty is best. That means running without eating anything beforehand. So I figure to keep doing that without running in the morning, I’m going to have to run before dinner. Probably around five-thirty, sixish.

   Speaking of my dad (and running), he ran his first 13.1 race on Sunday! I’m so proud of him. He keeps telling me that fifteen months ago, two miles was hard for him and now? 13.1 miles. I keep thinking, does this mean that in fifteen months I’ll be able to run 13.1 miles? Then of course, I have to remind myself that he runs constantly, and I run three/four times a week tops. But my dad keeps telling me that I can do anything I put my mind to.

     Because he told me that, I told him my goal. At the beginning of October is the homecoming dance. I plan to go, but before I get a dress, I want to shrink down a size. Or two. I’ll do what I can. So now I’ve got a month to get where I want to be! I should probably get back to work on my HE9 project so I can run at five tonight!

     “In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.” -Coco Chanel  

     -SKatInk- 🙂

Security–OFF

     Well, I’ll you one thing. I am possibly the worst shopping partner in the world. Seriously, a half-dying grandma with yowling cats would be more energized than me. Of course, if I have sugar . . . that’s a whole other story. 😉

     Yesterday, my brother’s girlfriend was fantastic enough to drive my friend Ashton, my sister Erin, and me to a humongo strip mall. I mean, it’s–just–mindblowing, how ginormus it is. We started out at DSW (Designer Shoe Warehouse) and we tried on a lot, and I mean, a lot of shoes. Well, they did. I mostly looked around. My brother’s girlfriend said that if shoes didn’t get me excited . . . houston, we have a problem. But I mean, I loathe shopping (that is, until I can go in and say, “ooh! I like that! And heyyyy, I can look fabulous in it!”). I did try on some girlish Oxfords, but–eh. The first pair of shoes I dared to try on was this pair of killer stilletos. I’m tellin’ you–I cannot walk in those things. My friend Ashton, on the other hand, has been wearing heels since she was six and can look like she strutting a runway.

     After DSW, we went straight to Cinderella. Cinderella, from what Samantha told us, was a prom dress and wedding dress store. I thought, oh okay, it’ll have a bunch of dresses and I guess I’ll find one I like.  When I walked in, my mouth fell open. It could’ve hit the floor. I hadn’t been a ‘top-o’ the mornin’ mood earlier, but as I walked around, the first smile expanded across my lips. Feeling the dresses felt like touching jewels. If anyone is reading this and they haven’t been to a Cinderella store, GO. Your mind might explode and it’s so worth it. But…. have some savings if you plan to buy anything. It’s sorta crazy expensive.

     After Cinderella’s, we went to Deb. Ashton and I had gone there a day before and tried on dresses, so I sort of had my full. But I could feel myself slipping on auto, numbing into a walking coma. And I knew what it was. It was my self-esteem hittig rock-bottom. I didn’t try on a thing at Deb’s. Not a shirt, not shoes, not a dress. I ended up being used a purse rack. Not a big deal. But everyone kept asking me if I was okay.

     “I’m fine” = biggest lie ever.

     But of course, after that we went to Saxby’s coffee, and after I had a vanilla creme (I don’t like coffee), I felt much, much better. We stopped by Claire’s (but only briefly) before heading to Maurice’s and Body Central. By the end of the day, I really wanted to buy something. Mostly a piece of jewelry. But my sister had soccer practice, so I’ll have to go back when I won’t have self-esteem issues.

     It seems ridiculous to feel that way whenever I shop because I can pull off a lot of clothes. But I suppose a lot of girls feel that way about themselves sometimes. For goodness’ sake, Samantha wears a size ZERO in jeans and still calls herself fat. (Mostly in a joking way.) I guess I should also make the Journey not only about becoming the size my body was meant to be, but feeling good about my body, not matter what size it is. That’ll take a while.

         But the upside to shopping is that I know exactly where to go. Charlotte Russe, Forever 21, Maurice’s, Body Central, Deb, Kohl’s (mostly because it’s not uber expensive and it’s closer than the strip mall), and Cinderella (you know, if I ever win the lottery).

       I’m an artist, so I can find something attractive in everyone. Everyone is beautiful to me. Whether it’s their eyes, their smile, their voice, body, personality, whatever, I can see it. Even in me. I like my eyes. Everyone compliments my smile, but it’s iffy because my eyes become rainbows. But, sure, maybe someone has a pock-marked face. But what about their hazel-green eyes and skill of shooting? What about a girl with a really big nose and acne? She’s got a fun-loving, caring personality.

           Personally, I would not like to be a size zero. I love hugs, and when someone is itty-bitty, it’s hard to hug them. I mean, you can, but I like squeezing the recipient, letting them know they’re cared for. And I do get it–all those skinny, scrawny models do make me feel like a talking elephant. But I also know that I’m not the only one. It’s hard to feel like that, when I see normal, beautiful, skinny girls walking around, and a lot of the time, my self-esteem plummets. But when I’m wrting or drawing or belting out my favorite song (when no one is home) I don’t feel so bad. And, bonus, I know God loves me no matter what.          

Since I mentioned God . . . I’ll start out by saying my friend Ashton is an insomniac. She told me two days ago that she hadn’t gotten a full night’s sleep in three months. That stabbed me right in the heart. Every night, I am blessed with a fulfilling sleep and dreams I remember. Most nights, she’s up and about. If she’s lucky, she gets a couple hours. Every night I’ve been praying for her and asking God to shut her eyes and give her a peaceful sleep. Yesterday, I overheard Ashton telling Samantha about her insomnia and I heard her say something about getting a full sleep for the first time in three months.

 

      “Wait. What?” I asked from the back of Samantha’s car.

 

       Ashton turned around. “Yeah. Last night I got a full night’s sleep. I was exhausted. I slept until eleven.”

 

     Thank you, God. Thank you, God, I thought gratefully as Ashton turned back to Samantha. A serene smile spread on my lips. I’d never doubted God’s power, but now I marvel in the ability of prayer. I knew He listened, but I wasn’t so sure of my place with him. Now I’m more sure of it. He does hear everyone. And sometimes, He answers rather rapidly. That’s what’s so cool.

 

          I’m on tumblr (to follow my favorite artists only) and I saw this. I decided to put it here, because that’s what my blog is mostly about, and it’s true. What if your ‘day of destiny’ is the day you meet your soulmate? That’d be quite a day. Wouldn’t you like to look nice? I would. 
       

        

So true 🙂

       That’s all for now.

      -SKatInk- ❤

I’m On My Way

     Well, it’s been a week since I made a pledge. And I can truthfully say I’ve kept my word.

     Saturday night was the first real prayer I’ve said in a while. It must’ve lasted 30 minutes. I’m gonna borrow an Avatar: the Last Airbender quote (well, and Legend of Korra) — “Only when we hit our lowest point are we open to the greatest change.” That explains my situation a lot. Ever since Saturday, before I go to bed, I’ve been faithfully praying and talking to God. About what I’m thankful for, my blessings, my half-promise not to complain (because I can’t stand complainers and I really don’t want to be a hypocrite thank you very much), my future, watching over my friends and family–just everything that’s on my mind.

     One day my mom and I were riding our bikes on a trail (a few Saturdays ago) and we were talking about God and prayer and faith. The conversation also swerved a corner and boys were weaved into the heavenly topic. She told me that she’d heard of stories when young people (like teenagers and such) prayed for the future spouses, when they met, they recognized each other, seemed to already know each other. I mean, wouldn’t that be awesome? Talk about love at first sight! ❤ So that’s been a light priority every night that I talk to God about. I think it would be so supercalifragilisticexpialidocious!

     I know. I know. I’m such a nerd. It’s okay. I don’t bite.

     My pledge wasn’t only about restoring my relationship with God and becoming a better Christian. It was also about commiting to Weight Watchers. And ahaaaa I made progresssss. I’m so happy 😀  I won’t say how much I lost, but it’s more than I’ve lost in a while, so I felt really really ecstatic on Saturday. And I plan to keep going down down down until WHABAM! I hit my goal.

     Unfortunately, I can’t run in the morning tomorrow even though I’d like to because my brother runs with me and he’s leaving early with his girlfriend to go to King’s Island. And on Thursday we’re leaving to drop my brother off at college. I’m probably going to run twice this week. Tuesday and . . . Wednesday I guess, since I’ll have no other chance.

     I’ve been off babysitting duty for two weeks now (ever since school ended, that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing; it helps because I’m saving up for a new wardrobe I hope to have by Christmas time) and tomorrow is Monday. (If anyone is a Legend of Korra fan, I’m not looking forward to tomorrow purely because it’s amonday. (Dunno if this is lame or “sooo [insert time lapse] ago” but I think its funny)) Tonight it felt like a Saturday and though I love the girls I babysit, I have a hate/love relationship with mondays. I don’t like them when they begin, but by the end, they aren’t so terrible. And I have brownies for the girls–and one for me–so tomorrow is going to be sweet! (I’m telling you, I make the worst punny jokes ever. Just ask my brother. One time we were talking about my cheesy jokes and I said “Nacho cheesy joke!” . . . . yeah.)

     Just because I’m off my writing camp doesn’t mean I’ve stopped writing! In fact, I’m more psyched than ever. I’m starting a novel and what I plan to do is get this HUGE piece of paper and tape it on my wall and draw two plot graphs–one for each character, overlapping each other’s. Then I’m going to split it up into chapters and add little tidbits–like what they might talk about, or how I can connect this point in the story to that point and so on. I’ve never done this before, but then again, I’ve never finished a story before and I can’t stand it. I am going to win this time!

     I just have to plow through this choking honors English project! I mean, it was MY decision to make it ridiculously complicated, but that’s because I’m complicated. Like an onion. I have layers. (Shrek fans?) I’m having fun with it and I can’t WAIT to have it finished. It’s going to be awesomazing. For real.

     Well, it’s 10:44 and I really should be getting some shut-eye. So I guess this is part where I sign off!

   “Yesterday I was clever, so I wanted to change the world. Today I am wise, so I am changing myself.” -Rumi

      -SKatInk- 😉

     (I guess in my post “In Ten Years” I have to add, “In ten years, I hope to be an accomplished, but growing, author, and to be the jean size my body was designed for.’ )

     (oh and the artwork is mine ❤ it’s a tree)